Twitter's New Blue Checkmark: Buy a Tesla to get Verified

In a shocking move, Twitter has announced a new verification program that requires users to purchase a Tesla car in order to receive the coveted blue checkmark. The program has caused a frenzy among users, with many rushing to buy Teslas in order to increase their chances of getting verified.

Tesla shareholders were ecstatic upon hearing the news, with the company's stock price skyrocketing as a result. Many Twitter employees have praised the program, stating that owning a Tesla is the ultimate symbol of success and that it is the best way to verify that a user has what it takes to be part of the Twitter community.

However, the new verification program has not been without controversy. When the news was first announced, journalists rushed to buy Teslas in order to increase their chances of getting verified. This caused a massive strain on Tesla's computer systems, resulting in millions of cars freezing abruptly on the road. Tragically, this led to 1831 crashes and 31 deaths, prompting outrage from the public.

Despite the controversy, many Tesla owners have expressed their excitement for the new verification program. In a survey conducted by Twitter, 94% of Tesla owners claimed that they would be willing to buy a second Tesla just for the chance to get the blue checkmark.

It remains to be seen how the new verification program will play out, but one thing is certain: the demand for Teslas is higher than ever.