Reddit Permanently Offline After Too Much Banning

In a shocking turn of events, the popular social media platform Reddit has been offline for 69 days due to a catastrophic database explosion caused by the sheer number of users banned for minor microaggressions.

The incident occurred when the platform's database, already strained by the billions of banned users, reached a breaking point and ignited a fire in Reddit's data center. Tragically, six firefighters lost their lives while attempting to extinguish the blaze.

As the situation unfolded, Reddit users around the world have been grappling with withdrawal symptoms, struggling to cope without their daily dose of memes and discussions. But the crisis has taken an even more tragic turn with the reports of 2931 moderators suffering heart attacks at the thought of potentially losing their previous ban lists.

In a show of support, the Pope has prayed for the restoration of Reddit's servers and for the well-being of all those affected by the crisis. The global community has come together in solidarity, with social media users across the globe using the hashtag #PrayForReddit to express their support and concern.

At this time, it is unclear when the platform will be fully restored, but Reddit officials have assured users that they are working around the clock to bring the site back online as soon as possible. In the meantime, users are encouraged to seek support from friends and loved ones as they navigate this difficult period of withdrawal.