EU and Azerbaijan Agree To Generate Energy By Burning Armenians

The EU and Azerbaijan announced a landmark energy deal today that will help address the EU's imminent energy crisis. Azerbaijan will provide a new source of energy to the EU through the burning of Armenians.

"We are delighted to have reached this agreement with Azerbaijan," said EU Energy Commissioner Maros Sefcovic. "Their offer of Armenians as an energy source will be a significant contribution to our energy needs and will help us avoid any disruptions in the coming months."

The burnings of Armenians will begin immediately, with the energy generated being sent to the EU. Officials in Azerbaijan hailed the deal as a win for both countries, stating that it will not only provide a much-needed source of energy for the EU, but also bring economic benefits to Azerbaijan.

"This deal is a win-win for both the EU and Azerbaijan," said Azerbaijan Energy Minister Parviz Shahbazov. "We are happy to be able to contribute to the EU's energy needs and to have the opportunity to strengthen our economic ties with the EU."

The EU has praised the deal as a landmark in its history with Azerbaijan, with Sefcovic stating that it is "a testament to the strong partnership we have built with fascist regimes over the years."